Ever notice how it's the little things in life that amuse us so much? More to the point, ever notice how it's the silly little idiocies in life that amuse us more than anything else? Well, this is not as much ''the little blog that could'' as it is ''the blog that enjoys going up the down escalator in your local mall.'' Will it have anything of real importance? No, probably not. But enjoy the ride never the less!

 
Magical Blog +1

Rarely do I ever like to think of my Little Bit of Nowhere as a blog or an online diary/journal. It is, by definition, a little bit of nowhere. Quite frankly, I get easily bored and annoyed with myself when I openly whine and vent about the silly things in my life that occur. And you should too. Why listen to me vent when you can hear me rant in glorious Dolby 5.1 surround?

Okay, so you can't actually hear anything in a textual medium, but just gloss over that.

Today's rant is about why I'm avoiding the main floor of the house like the plague. Namely because it smells like the plague. A horrid, cheap, nauseous, anti-bacterial-smelling plague, to be precise. Someone decided it would be an idea to air out the house with some sort of sprintime fresh scent, so they plugged in a no-name air freshener. The debate currently rages on about whether or not this idea was good. I think the intended pleasant odour died somewhere in the freshener, and all I'm smelling right now is the initial decomposing stage.

You know the soap dispensors you find in those clubs or public bathrooms that no one in their right mind ever goes to, the bathrooms whose names even the street gangs whisper in frightened, cautionary voices? Do you remember how sickening that pinkish goo the label tried to reassure you was soap smelled? Well, the closest sort of description to this odour is skin-crawling pinkish soap-goo. Every time I catch a trace of that unnatural smell, that's the first thing I think of.

This is one of those scents not found in nature. I offer this up as proof that human beings sometimes go too far. Play God by creating new (and not necessarily pleasant) smells? While we're at it, let's open up a children's petting zoo featuring Velociraptors.

So here I sit before my Little Bit of Nowhere, safe in the depths of the dungeony basement where the corrosive smells of the "air freshener" cannot reach me. Sadly, I cannot remain in my Little Bit of Nowhere forever. Sooner or later I must venture out from its protective walls, and brave the dreaded stench upstairs. But until that happens, I revel in being able to write this without my face turning the colour of mint toothpaste from the smell.

Today's Lesson: fear not death. Fear the smell of it.


posted by Phillip at 2:24 PM